Ladies and gentleman, may I have your attention please?! This blog is ready to set sail on its maiden voyage, so sit down, relax, order a pricey foo-foo drink in a souvenir cup, shove another piece of cake into your pie hole—or another slice of pie into your cake hole—and get ready for the cyber cruise of a lifetime!
My name is The Fun Dude and I’ll be your entertainment host for the next six-months. Why do they call me “The Fun Dude”?
Because I like to have fun, dude!
In fact, you can call me “Dr. Fun Dude,” because I’ve got a PhD in p-h-u-n: phun!
(And no, my mom did NOT drop me on my head as a baby!)
So it’s time to don your lifejackets, folks, and embark upon an amazing behind-the-scenes journey into the life of a hardworking, dedicated, personable, helpful, charming, witty, funny, resourceful, handsome and mildly delusional and obsessive-compulsive staff member onboard a 70,000-ton ocean liner (60,000 tons of which is food).
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live and work on a cruise ship, then bookmark this blog and follow me as I entertain some 2,500 new guests every three to four days over my half-year contract as an activities director for America’s most fun and affordable cruise line. Tag along for the next six months as I give ship’s tours, call Bingo, host karaoke, run trivia contests, lead dance parties, sing with the band, judge talent contests, impersonate Cher, referee volley ball, free throw and mini-golf tournaments; make schedules, order supplies, perform tender duty (you’ll learn what that is later), eat too many carbohydrates, drink too much Czech beer, sleep too little, complain too much, miss my family, please demanding guests, humor overworked bosses, strangle snoring roommates, comfort homesick dancers, mule kick the malfunctioning washing machines in the crew laundry room, wander the back alleys of Mexico in search of cheap fish tacos and free high-speed Internet access, and have philosophical discussions on the latest season of “24” with coworkers who speak English as a fifth language.
But just because this blog will take an honest, humorous look at a tough job in a tough working environment and an even tougher living environment, this blog will NOT be an investigative report into the seedy underbelly of the cruise industry. The cruise line I work for— from hereon known as The Company—hires terrific people from all over the world who always give their best no matter how tired they are or how much they miss their loved ones back home, even though being exhausted and homesick is a small price to pay for working alongside the Fun Dude.
The Company respects its guests and offers incredible prices and incredible service. The Company cares for its employees and offers topnotch healthcare and room for advancement. So don’t expect me to badmouth The Company just because The Company makes me wear a daytime uniform that makes me look like a rogue Dominoes delivery boy, and a nighttime uniform that makes me look like a colorblind theater usher with a drinking problem, or makes me share an 8 X 10 cabin with a snoring, farting, “Austin Powers”-quoting 20-year-old man-child who doesn't quite grasp the concept of going to the bathroom with the door closed.
No, the simple purpose of this blog is to:
1) Help you understand what it's like to live and work on a cruise ship.
2) Make you think twice before yelling at your Costa Rican cabin steward because he left little tabs of butter on your pillow. (“Lo no es mantequilla, gringo loco, lo es chocolate!”)
3) Survive the next six months without jumping overboard.
It’s gonna be fun, folks.
Welcome aboard!
My name is The Fun Dude and I’ll be your entertainment host for the next six-months. Why do they call me “The Fun Dude”?
Because I like to have fun, dude!
In fact, you can call me “Dr. Fun Dude,” because I’ve got a PhD in p-h-u-n: phun!
(And no, my mom did NOT drop me on my head as a baby!)
So it’s time to don your lifejackets, folks, and embark upon an amazing behind-the-scenes journey into the life of a hardworking, dedicated, personable, helpful, charming, witty, funny, resourceful, handsome and mildly delusional and obsessive-compulsive staff member onboard a 70,000-ton ocean liner (60,000 tons of which is food).
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live and work on a cruise ship, then bookmark this blog and follow me as I entertain some 2,500 new guests every three to four days over my half-year contract as an activities director for America’s most fun and affordable cruise line. Tag along for the next six months as I give ship’s tours, call Bingo, host karaoke, run trivia contests, lead dance parties, sing with the band, judge talent contests, impersonate Cher, referee volley ball, free throw and mini-golf tournaments; make schedules, order supplies, perform tender duty (you’ll learn what that is later), eat too many carbohydrates, drink too much Czech beer, sleep too little, complain too much, miss my family, please demanding guests, humor overworked bosses, strangle snoring roommates, comfort homesick dancers, mule kick the malfunctioning washing machines in the crew laundry room, wander the back alleys of Mexico in search of cheap fish tacos and free high-speed Internet access, and have philosophical discussions on the latest season of “24” with coworkers who speak English as a fifth language.
But just because this blog will take an honest, humorous look at a tough job in a tough working environment and an even tougher living environment, this blog will NOT be an investigative report into the seedy underbelly of the cruise industry. The cruise line I work for— from hereon known as The Company—hires terrific people from all over the world who always give their best no matter how tired they are or how much they miss their loved ones back home, even though being exhausted and homesick is a small price to pay for working alongside the Fun Dude.
The Company respects its guests and offers incredible prices and incredible service. The Company cares for its employees and offers topnotch healthcare and room for advancement. So don’t expect me to badmouth The Company just because The Company makes me wear a daytime uniform that makes me look like a rogue Dominoes delivery boy, and a nighttime uniform that makes me look like a colorblind theater usher with a drinking problem, or makes me share an 8 X 10 cabin with a snoring, farting, “Austin Powers”-quoting 20-year-old man-child who doesn't quite grasp the concept of going to the bathroom with the door closed.
No, the simple purpose of this blog is to:
1) Help you understand what it's like to live and work on a cruise ship.
2) Make you think twice before yelling at your Costa Rican cabin steward because he left little tabs of butter on your pillow. (“Lo no es mantequilla, gringo loco, lo es chocolate!”)
3) Survive the next six months without jumping overboard.
It’s gonna be fun, folks.
Welcome aboard!
How funny! Great idea! I'll definitely be checking back.
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